Put It Away

Here we are on the cusp of the single most inspiring and uplifting time of the year, and I am (was) feeling the least inspired or uplifted I had felt in quite some time.  Not depressed, not sad, not discouraged, necessarily...just not inspired.  Just not encouraged.  Just sort of blah, I guess you'd say.

That's not okay with me.  There are surely people who are okay with living their lives on a blah level, but I am not one of those people.  I want my life to be lived with passion, with conviction, with certainty, and with love...tons and tons of love that just spills over and drenches every single person around me.  And that's not the life I was living...

I have not been able to get Christmas out of my head for about a week or so.  I introduced Ruby to Santa, and she has been enthralled since.  I introduced her to Baby Jesus, Mommy Mary, and Daddy Joseph, and she thinks they are wonderful characters.  We have watched "Santa Clause 2" several times, as well as some of the claymation Christmas classics.  I have been thinking and thinking about how to bless our family and friends for Christmas on a small budget.  I have been dreaming of how to show Ruby the true importance of this most special time.

However, all of that is not what captured my heart...not at all.

You see, two thousand years ago, a miracle baby was born.  And two months ago?  Another miracle baby was born.  And my life is what it is because of those two miracle babies.

Jesus Christ came into this world just like the rest of us...naked, cold, hungry, and scared...needing a Mommy.  But he grew up to be exactly what He was destined to be: the Son of God, God in the Flesh, a man who made such an impact on this world that now, two thousand years later, we are still celebrating his birthday with the biggest party of the year.  Jesus Christ's life has changed my life in a way that I cannot mask or ignore.

Burke Michael came into this world a little different than the rest of us...with a broken heart and immature lungs...needing a medical miracle.  But it's not his arrival or even his short life that has made the biggest impact on me.  It was his gestation.  Weeks on my back that turned into months.  Time spent contemplating my life and it's worth, it's meaning.  And all that time spent on my back?  Oh...it was so necessary.  God needed to get some time alone with me, and time He got.  And input I got.

I know that I shared glimpses and snippets of what was happening in my heart, but I'm not sure that I accurately conveyed the sheer depth of revelation that happened during those weeks.

I very literally learned what I'm supposed to do with my life. 

I am made and shaped (with every fiber of my being) to reach out and minister to women...of all ages, shapes, types, backgrounds, and situations.  (Minister is just a fancy word for loving the heck out of you and helping you through this thing we call life.)  God has deposited things into my life, mind, heart, and soul to share with other women.  I cannot be silent.

Even though I had been shown the "what" of my life, God held back the "how."  I was having a hard time reconciling the fact that God had told me to start reaching out to women with the fact that I had no place of influence in any women's lives.  I figured it would be kind of hard to love women and help them through life, if I didn't really have any women to reach out to.

And then you all started reading my words, e-mailing me, leaving comments, and telling me that God was speaking to you.  I had been suspicious that the internet might be one of the avenues where God used me, but I didn't really expect such a response.

And then...on the day I gave birth...my pastor asked me to step into the Lead Member role for our church's women's ministry.  I heartily accepted the offer.  Sure, I was only a few hours post-op, but I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was the position I was supposed to inhabit for this season.  No doubt whatsoever.

Less than a week later, an announcement was made to the leadership team of the women's ministry.  The announcement was quite a shock to the team.  I mean, quite frankly, it was a shock to me, as well.  However, as my pastor said, "When God moves, He moves.  And when He says, "Go," we have to go."  This *is* the time for me to be in this position.

I say that with not even a single ounce of pride.  In fact, my heart is so humbled and overwhelmed with this responsibility that I am not even tempted to rely on my strength or abilities.  No way, no how.  This is God's deal, and for some reason, He has chosen to use me right now.  I know it's hard for some of you to understand.  I know I'm young.  I know that I have less experience as a wife.  I know I have less experience as a mother.  I know all of that...but I also know, to the core of who I am, that I was made and shaped for exactly this.  This is what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Because of the unrest that has been present during this transition, Satan has been creeping in and planting seeds of untruth in my heart.

"Sure, you have a ton of support...just not from the people that you need it from."

"If you step up and truly lead, you are going to alienate people.  Just let it ride..."

"Everyone is comfortable with the status quo...think twice before you shake things up."

Well, I've got news for you, Satan:

You suck.  You are so very wrong.  You are crafty, but I'm a quick learner.  I see what you're doing, and your time is finished.  Done.  Over.  Shall be no more.

Because now?  Now it's God's turn.

There is something amazing and wonderful that He wants to do in this group of women.  You, the women of Elston Family Church, and you, the women who read my blogs.  You are amazing women.  You have gifts, abilities, talents, and experience that God cannot wait to use.  And it's time for us to use them...wholly and without reservation.

My point??  We have got to change our input.  I really feel like God is wanting to influence us in a way that we haven't seen in quite a while, but we have GOT to get tuned in.  To Him.  Only Him.  Shut out the world: your unsupportive husband, your lack of self-confidence, your fear of rejection, your past experiences that haunt you, your distrust, your lack of inspiration...  Put it away.

Those things are robbing you of what God truly wants for your life.  If you're listening to what society tells you about yourself, then there is no way you can be doing the things that God wants you to do right now.  If I put sour milk in my pot to make hot chocolate, I am not going to get rich velvety goodness at the end.

I know that sounds vague...Put it away.  Stop listening to the world.

Sounds great, but how?  Right?

Well, I'm glad you asked.  We do it by changing our input.

I know this post is already really long, so if you don't wanna go any further, you can stop here.  I'm starting a new section.  If you come back later, you'll be able to find this place easily, because I'm going to put a big old Header on it. :)

Change Your Input

First of all, you have got to change what you're telling yourself.  Seriously, just shut up.  I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so blunt, but unless you are talking to God A LOT and speaking His Word over yourself, then you need to stop talking to yourself.  I don't pretend to know exactly what you're telling yourself, but I can bet it's probably not entirely accurate.  You're probably beating yourself down in certain areas and/or blowing yourself up in other areas.  Neither is okay.  We need to re-affirm what God says about us.  Here are some good starts:

*God made us, and he made us well.  Psalm 139:13-14  "You are the one who put me together in my mother's body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me.  Everything you do is marvelous!  Of this I have no doubt."

*Our past?  It's HISTORY!!  It is not held against us.  When we become a follower of Jesus Christ, we become something new.  We have the excellent opportunity to start all over again and do it as best as we can.  2 Corinthians 5:17 (This is one of my very, very, very favorite verses.) "Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new creation.  The past is forgotten, and everything is new!"

*God has given you talents and abilities that He wants you to use!   If you are a Christian, you have been given specific abilities that the Holy Spirit uses in you.  Use them!  1 Corinthians 12:7  "The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others."

*You are NOT alone.  God is not asking you to do this thing alone.  He is here, in the form of the Holy Spirit.  Not only that, but he has called us to be a family and to meet together and to help each other as we live life.  John 14:15-17 "Jesus said to his disciples: If you love me, you will do as I command.  Then I will ask the Father to send you the Holy Spirit who will help you and always be with you."  Hebrews 10:24-25  "We should keep on encouraging each other..."

*God has such good things in store for you!  You can take his word for it, or you can take mine.  :)  I'm just telling you...a life lived with the goal of glorifying God is a life that turns out so blessed and good.  So good...

I have to leave Barnes and Noble.  They're closing.  They are kicking me out.  :)  I have so much more to say about Changing Your Input.  I just wanted to start tonight by encouraging us to start listening to the One who MADE US.  He knows all about us, and He knows why he made us...for what purpose and for what reason.  And He says that reason is good.  He has faith in us...as hard as that is to believe.  He trusts us to do His work here on Earth.  We have got to start focusing on what God has told us about ourselves, instead of what others are telling us...including ourselves.

I really do love you guys.  I want to see your lives be blessed beyond your wildest imagination.  I can't do it for you.  I'm poor.  I'm weak.  I have nothing to give you.

Except Him.  That Miracle Baby has done so very much for my life that I absolutely must share Him with all of you.  I must.

Be blessed.  Be so blessed tonight.