What does it matter if we have an inaccurate view of ourselves?

Well...it matters a lot.  It matters more than anything.  It affects every single aspect of our life.  You don't believe me?  Keep reading.

Let's just start with one very simple example.  Our self-perception, our self-identity, affects the way we interact with other people.  (And, can we just call it SP?  And you'll know I'm not talking about spelling?  From here on out: SP stands for self-perception.  The definition of self-perception is the way we see ourselves.  Okay?  Okay.)  Anyway, our SP affects our interactions with other people.  For ease of illustration, let's evaluate the way our SP affects our interactions with strangers.

Think about it for a few minutes before you continue reading.  How do you react to strangers?  How do you interact with them?  Are you outgoing?  Are you shy?  Are you trusting?  Are you wary?  Do you assume people are generally good or generally bad?  When you walk away, what are you thinking about? 

Or how about this:

Do you look the cashier in the eye?  Do you say "thank you" to the young man who bags your groceries?  Do you joke with your waitress?  Do you ask her how her day has gone?  If something is wrong with your meal, do you bring it to his attention?  *How* do you bring it to his attention?

All of your answers to these questions have to do with your SP.  We'll narrow it down to one of these situations.  Say you're eating dinner at a nice restaurant and your meal is not up to your standard.  We'll say that you ordered spaghetti, and, when it arrives, it's a little cold.

If your SP is a little too high, then you may feel like you deserve a nice, hot meal.  After all, you've worked hard to make enough money to come eat dinner at this nice restaurant.  It's the waitress's responsibility to get your meal out to you...nice and hot.  By golly, you're going to show her exactly how much you deserve that nice, hot meal, and you're also going to show her how poorly she's performing her duties.  As soon as she comes back by the table...

If your SP is a little too low, then you may feel like you don't deserve a nice, hot meal.  After all, the waitress is working much harder than you've had to work today.  You had a nice relaxing Saturday with your family.  She's been running around the restaurant, waiting on people all day long.  You don't deserve to put one more worry on her plate.  You'll just go ahead and eat your dinner with out saying a word.

Neither of these situations is great.  The truth is that it's a balance: you deserve a nice hot meal, but the waitress also deserves respect and the benefit of the doubt.  In all honesty, she may have had *nothing* to do with your cold meal.  The cooks get the meal ready, and she delivers it to your table.  If you're employing a healthy and accurate SP, then you realize that you are certainly worthy of a nice, hot meal, but you also realize that the waitress is someone just like you.  She's trying to do her job, and it's highly likely that she did not stick your meal in the fridge before bringing it out to you. 

Chances are, when the waitress makes it around to your table again, you'll politely mention that your spaghetti is cold and you'll ask her if there's anyway you could have a fresh portion of spaghetti.  If you bring the situation to her attention with respect, you'll most likely end up with a hot plate of spaghetti, and maybe even a free desert.  Not only that, but you have helped to preserve the waitresses SP, as well.  Perhaps you'll be the reason she heads home with her chin up, happy that she was able to help a customer, instead of heading home with tears streaming down her face. 

This is such a small example, but do you see how your view of yourself affects how you see others?  If you give yourself too much credit, then it's easy to give someone else too little credit.  If you give yourself too little credit, then it's easy to give someone else too much credit.

Okay, this is a little rough.  I'll be back tomorrow with more.  I'm trying to think of the best way to describe what I'm talking about.  Hopefully some of my point is coming through.  :)  If this post didn't make any sense, check back later to see if I'm able to explain myself better.  :)