Hi! I'm Lindsay. I'm not sure about you, but I generally like to see the person who is talking to me or writing to me. So, this is a picture of me. I hold a lot of positions in life (like wife, mother, daughter, friend), but at the core of it all, I'm just me. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you stay. Enjoy!
If you compile all the e-mails, cards, and phone calls that I received from my Elston family during my time on bedrest, you would find one very common theme:
"I miss you. I'm praying for you and the baby. I can't wait until you come back to EFC...I miss hearing you on the worship team!"
I started to resent that e-mail...a lot. As God was birthing a growing desire to minister to women, I felt like I was being stuffed further and further into a box...forced into a role that I didn't necessarily desire. It wasn't a role that I disliked. There are very few things that I enjoy more than worshipping God through music. However, I simply wanted to do more. I *knew* God was calling me to do more.
Then, I took matters into my own hands. I figured that, if God was calling me to do more and people wouldn't let me do anything other than sing on a stage, then I would just relinquish my position on that stage. It made sense...I was going to have a 20 month old and a newborn when I went back to EFC. I would be three and a half months out of the loop. Perhaps God had actually brought bedrest into my life in order to break me away from the stage.
So...it's been nearly 15 months since I've been a permanent part of the worship team at Elston Family Church.
Every single week, someone asks me when I'll be coming back to the worship team.
Every single week, it becomes more of a struggle not to run up to the front and lead my brothers and sisters a little deeper into the throneroom of God.
Every single week, I become more and more confident in the fact that I don't worship for my own benefit (which I used to doubt.) I realize more and more that it really is ALL for Him.
I'm even starting to think that I'm supposed to start working on a CD. (Don't laugh at me. If nothing else, it's about facing my own insecurities and stepping out in faith.)
So...for 15 months, I've been hoarding my heart of worship and keeping it to myself. I've been prideful in thinking that I know exactly how God wants to use me and doubting my Pastor when he has told me that I belong in the worship ministry.
To my Elston Family, I'm sorry. I've been prideful and selfish in this area, and I am truly sorry for that.
Comments
First, I am thrilled to hear
First, I am thrilled to hear you are going to work on recording a CD- oh yes!!! You are talented in so many ways and I look at your gift to lead worship as just one side wall of your "box". You are a beautiful servant for the Lord and I look forward to worshipping with you at new heights.
love you!
k
Thank you for your
Thank you for your encouragement, sweet lady! I love you. :)
Awww-And I still haven't
Awww-And I still haven't gotten to sing with you yet. Darn it all anyway. But you have to listen to what your heart and to what God is telling you. Always be true to that. Love you and all your talents.
c
Give me a Date
I don't have anything on my calendar except for Tuesdays for the next month. You get first call. Which day do you want the kids and I out there for some Karaoke?? :) :)
I haven't been reading blogs
I haven't been reading blogs regulary for a while now, so I know it was meant for me to read this one. I too believe you are a great asset to the worship team. Even Sunday, I could hear you singing and it just brought joy to my heart.
As far as the CD -- I have told you more then once I really feel you are to make a CD. I truely believe this is true!! Go for you! :)
LOve,
Angela
Is this Ang McB?
If it is, you usually sign your comments with "Ang." :) Also, if this is Ang, have you really told me you think I should do a CD? Apparently, I wasn't listening. (Big surprise, right? I promise to get better at that!)
If it's not, which Angela is this? :) And thanks for your encouragement! :)