Hi! I'm Lindsay. I'm not sure about you, but I generally like to see the person who is talking to me or writing to me. So, this is a picture of me. I hold a lot of positions in life (like wife, mother, daughter, friend), but at the core of it all, I'm just me. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you stay. Enjoy!
I'm sorry I've fallen off the blogging wagon with this site. The past month has been quite interesting! I can't wait to get my baby boy home where I can have a more consistent schedule and time for all the things that I enjoy. :)
I came to the blog today, because I finally remembered to ask my husband to bring me headphones.
"Headphones?" you ask.
Yes. Headphones brought me to my personal blog. You see, I can have my computer in the NICU, but I obviously cannot have any sound come out of it. It is too much stimulation for the babies (which seems incredibly silly, since there are alarms and bells going off all. the. time. in here.) But still...I completely understand the rule. So I have access to the internet (sometimes), and I can play Mahjong (sometimes), but, up until today, music has been out of the equation.
Oh, how my soul needs music. I plugged in my headphones this afternoon and started up my iTunes, and goosebumps covered my body from head to toe.
I started my listening journey with "Whisper His Name". "Let It Rain" was next. Truly, that's my prayer. That people across the country would begin to whisper the name of Jesus Christ. That they would begin to call out the name of Jesus Christ. That they would begin to shout the name of Jesus Christ. And as a result? I pray that the Spirit of God will absolutely begin to flood our nation. I pray that His Spirit will rain down on the people who are seeking Him in a way so powerful that they see change they never could have imagined...that they feel love they never knew existed.
And above all, I pray it begins in me. I pray that I will continually call out the name of Jesus, that I will not be ashamed, and that the Spirit of God will be so present in my life that it spills over into the lives of those around me.
Please God, let it begin in me.
Needless to say, I can't get today's message off my mind. I've been thinking about it almost every single minute that I've been awake. (I did a take a three hour nap this afternoon, so I wasn't thinking about it then.) :)
Here's the thing: I can honestly say that I have a ton of faith in God. I don't say that with any measure of pride, because there is *nothing* I have done to earn this faith. It has just been given to me. The most I have ever done to gain faith is to ask for more of it. Almost everytime I have started to have serious doubts or worries in my life, I have immediately asked God to give me more faith. And He has.
So the part about needing to have faith? That didn't get me so much. I've got faith.
The part about having doubts? That got me a little bit, because I do doubt myself a lot. I almost never doubt God, but I do doubt myself.
However...the part about speaking our faith and sharing our faith? The part about blind men and paralyzed men being healed because their friends had enough faith for them? The times when P. Randy was encouraging people who had a lot of faith to speak out? The times when he was telling people who have a lot of faith to not be silent?
Yeah...that got me a lot. A whole lot.
When we were singing the song, "Whisper His Name", my heart and soul did not yearn to sing the name of Jesus. My heart was breaking in half to shout out the phrases: Whisper His Name! Call Out His Name! Shout Out His Name!
Not in a single bone of my body did I feel like I needed to be calling out to Jesus on my behalf this morning. Not that I don't need Jesus in my life...that's not what I mean. It's more that I've just been granted a million and twenty miracles. Right now, I can honestly say that I have cried out to Jesus, and He has answered. He is fulfilling and sustaining me at every turn right now. I am living, walking, and breathing faith right now. I have nothing but Him. I have no problem calling out His Name.
But calling other people to that faith? I'm not doing much of that right now. I know I'm supposed to be doing that. Every fiber of my being yearns to be encouraging people towards higher levels of faith. That's all I want to do. I wanted to run up to the stage, grab a microphone, and sing with every ounce of volume in my body: "Whisper His Name! Call out His Name! Shout out His Name! Just do it! PLEASE!! Just call on Him! Test Him!! See if He won't come running to you! I dare you! Look at me! My womb should be empty. My son should be dead. That's what all of the voices said would happen. But I'm pregnant! My son is alive! He is growing, thriving, and swimming around in more than average amounts of amniotic fluid! And all I did was to call on the name of Jesus!"
But I didn't do it. I barely even sang the words as I stood in my place. I didn't even raise my hands to affirm that I believed what I was saying. I just stood there...paralyzed.
I'm not paralyzed by lack of faith or doubts. I'm paralyzed because I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm supposed to be doing something. I know that God is wanting to do something through me. I know I'm supposed to be making a deposit into the lives around me.
I just don't know how. I don't know what. And I don't know who.
So where do I go with this? Back to Him. I just keep going back and saying, "I'm hearing You. I promise I'm trying to listen. I know You're asking me, telling me, to do something. I'm just not getting the rest of it, God. I need you to show me, or my spiritual leaders, the how, the what, and the who. Or I need you to confirm that I'm just supposed to wait. I need you to give me peace while I wait. If I'm not supposed to wait, then don't let me get comfortable. I don't mind being agitated, but keep using that agitation to lead me to where I'm supposed to be. Please give me wisdom and guidance. Please give my advisors wisdom and guidance. Show me where. Show me what. Show me how. Show me who. Here I am. Use me. Please, use me. Amen."
Pastor Randy mentioned another aspect of the story of the blind man this morning. Matthew, Mark, and Luke are three books of the Bible written by eye witnesses of Jesus' ministry. Therefore, they are basically the same story written from three different viewpoints. Due to their different personalities and experiences, all three men accounted what they witnessed slightly differently. For instance, Matthew was a tax collector, an accountant of sorts. He was probably a fairly analytical and mathematical sort of person. He probably paid more attention to the numbers in the situations. In his account of this story, he says there were two blind men by the roadside. Luke's account only mentions one man. Luke was a doctor, so he was probably mainly concerned with the initial man who spoke up and was healed.
Why is this important? Well, if you look at another story of healing, there are four guys who take their friend to Jesus to be healed of his paralysis. They even go so far as to lower him through the roof, when they can't make their way into the house because of the crowd. The Bible says that Jesus healed the paralyzed man because of the faith of his friends.
P. Randy wanted to point out that people who have a lot of faith are called to share that faith and use that faith to benefit others. If people who have a lot of faith stay silent and fail to take action, their friends and loved ones might suffer or miss out on answered prayer.
The second blind man and the paralyzed man were healed because of the faith of people around them. How amazing!
So, we're not only called to have faith for our benefit, but we're also called to have for the benefit of others. It is a responsibility to have faith and to speak faith and to live faith.
This morning, Pastor Randy spoke about faith. It was a great message. Unfortunately, Mike's sound recorder ran out of batteries, so the message didn't get recorded. Perhaps it was simply meant for the people who heard it this morning...I don't know.
Anyway, I thought it prudent to record the sermon, because I really believe it was a powerful word from God. I have a lot of thoughts about it regarding my own life, and I'm going to put them in another post, but I just wanted to remember to record the scriptures and the thoughts that Randy shared this morning.
This message was not the message Pastor Randy intended to deliver this morning. However, around 11:00 p.m. last night, he couldn't sleep. I don't know how to say what happened without using church talk, but, basically, God told P. Randy to "chuck" everything he had already prepared. God brought a scripture passage and a song to P. Randy's mind repeatedly...P. Randy couldn't let go of it. That's how God told him.
The scripture was Luke 18:35-43. The song was "Whisper His Name", written by Johnathan Stockstill and performed by Deluge Band.
Luke 18:35-43 tells of a time when Jesus was traveling between cities. This situation happens later on in Jesus' life, so many people know of Him and all the miracles he has performed. There is a big crowd traveling with Jesus, and, apparently they make quite a ruckus. I say that, because there is a blind man sitting on the side of the road, and he can tell that something big is happening. He asks what's going on, and the people tell him that Jesus is coming by.
The blind man immediately calls out, "Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me!"
The people around him tell him to shut up.
But he doesn't. He calls out again, even louder, "Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me!"
Jesus hears him and has him brought over. Jesus tells the man that his faith has saved and healed him. The man immediately sees again and gets up and follows Jesus.
P. Randy pointed out a few things about the passage and how we can learn from it today.
1. Voices
Anytime we face a situation where we need faith, there will be a lot of voices speaking to us: our own voice, the voice of Satan, and the voice of the crowd around us. Many times, those voices will not speak truth. Faith is hard. Those voices can easily speak doubt into our minds and hearts. For instance, the crowd around the blind man told him to shut up. Would that not fill your heart with doubt? I mean, if the lowly people around you don't even have enough mercy to listen to your pleas, why in the world would a great man like Jesus care to listen?
2. Doubts
And that brings us to the second part of faith. It is so easy to have doubts in the midst of faith. We can have two types of doubt: doubt about God or doubt about ourselves. Many times, we fully believe that God can do what He says He can do. We fully believe that He is capable and able of performing miracles and answering our prayers. The problem is that we doubt ourselves. We doubt that we deserve God's help. We doubt that we are worthy to be used. Other times, we doubt God: either His ability or His willingness.
Here's the key thing about Doubt: It doesn't matter what you're doubting. The doubt will automatically squash the faith.
James 1:6-8 says that a person who doubts is like a wave of the sea, going back and forth between faith and doubt. It says that a person like that cannot expect to receive what they've asked for. In many places, the Bible confirms that faith is the key to our lives and the key to finding the help and support we need from God. Sometimes, we need a miracle. Other times, we just need comfort and peace. God can (and will!) do it all.
3. Just Asking
But we have to ask. Not only do we have to possess faith, not only do we need to banish doubt and fully believe...but we must ask. If it's not doubts holding us back from calling out to Jesus, then it's probably pride. It can be downright humbling to ask for help. Sometimes, we've made a wrong choice, and asking for help is an admission of that fact. Sometimes, we feel guilty that we're not able to take care of a situation in our own power or using our own resources. Sometimes, we're simply ashamed of the thing we're requesting.
We have to lay down our pride and ask anyway. James 1:9 goes on to say that a man in a humble situation should take pride in his high position. Why is his position high? Because Proverbs 3:34 says that God is against pride. Proverbs 3:34 says that God gives grace to the humble. What a great place to be in!! When we are humble, when we are down and out, when we are relying on nothing but faith...
...we can be sure that God is on our side. And if that's the case, who in the world can be against us??
But we have to ask. We have to believe, fully. We have to fight against our doubts. And we have to ask, with a full measure of faith.
And it all starts by calling out to God, calling out to Jesus. You may need to start by whispering, and that's okay. God promises that, if we will call out to Him, He WILL answer us. So just call out, ask for help. And ask for the faith to be able to grow louder and stronger, even when the voices around you are trying to make you doubt.
Whisper His Name
Jonathan Stockstill
© 2008 Integrity's Praise! Music/BMI
Whisper His name
Whisper His name
Whisper His name
And He will answer you
Whisper His name
Whisper His name
Whisper His name
And He will come to you
Call out His name (Jesus)
Call out His name (Jesus)
Call out His name (Jesus)
And He will come to you
Shout out His name (Jesus)
Shout out His name (Jesus)
Shout out His name (Jesus)
And He will run to you
For when we lose our selfish pride
And when we fall down on our knees
For when we lift our hands
And say You’re all I need
Oh God we lose our selfish pride
Lord we fall down on our knees
We lift our hands to You
And say You’re all we need
You’re all we need
You’re all we need
You’re all we need
Glory to You in the highest place
Glory to You in the highest place
Glory to You in the highest place